At the core of humanity, we all need love, acceptance, respect, forgiveness and hope but there is a corresponding fear that to ask for help, admit our mistakes or show our emotions will lead to rejection and abandonment. We are afraid others will think less of us as a man and, as a result, many men suffer in silence and feel desperately alone. You cannot solve your problems by yourself – nobody can. When you erect a fence to keep others out, you will succeed in preventing us from ever learning your fears and issues but, in doing so, you create a prison cell and lock yourself inside. Take down the fence that society teaches us to erect and invite your LifeBrothers into your life and into your heart.
LifeBrothers helps men 17-24 years of age learn to:
- Grow with life changes – not “just deal” with them
- Have open conversations about problems
- Share feelings that may be difficult
- Create a better school/life environment
- Respect and support others
- Apply simple tools to be healthy, happy, safe and successful – for life
- Form healthy, respectful relationships with women
- Strive for excellence – not perfection
Off to the Races – Are Your Life Choices and Habits Taking You Where You Want To Go?
Society teaches us to judge, criticize and condemn which continues to fail us miserably. Instead, what if we started our relationships with trust, respect, compassion and unconditional love? The men I talk to yearn to express their love and to feel loved – they have such truly beautiful hearts they want to share but have tragically been taught to conceal. My program not only gives men permission to share their hearts – it demands it.
My programs begin with 5 simple statements that establish the foundation of our relationship:
- You are men now. You can vote, enter into a legally binding contract and die for your country. I will call you men, treat you like men and hold you accountable as men. The problem with society is they want to treat you like kids but hold you accountable as adults. I am sorry, society is wrong – you don’t get it both ways – that is not fair.
- Since you are now men, we are equals and you must call me by my first name.
- I respect each of you. You are smart or you would not be here. As smart as you are, you don’t know what you don’t know and that is what I am here to discuss – everything I wish someone had told me when I was 18.
- I believe in you, I trust you, I care about you and I love you unconditionally.
- I accept you completely for everything you are today – everything you have ever thought, said or done, which I know because you are human like me includes some things you are deeply ashamed of. I still love you unconditionally and promise to help you become the best version of you.
My programs work because I have a compelling and graphically honest conversation with my men and inspire them to make better choices and habits by deciding to do so themselves.
Other topics include:
Four leading causes of poor academic performance (According to the American College Health Association)
- Sleep Difficulties
And the ways to address them
- Regular exercise
- Proper sleep
- Proper nutrition
- A daily schedule
- No drugs
- If you choose to drink alcohol, drink in moderation
- If you choose to have sex, use a condom every time and for vaginal sex use a condom along with another form of female birth control
A student at Wake Forest said, “I finally took your advice and started to get up early, eat breakfast, exercise 4-5 times a week and put a daily schedule in place. These are the only 4 things I did differently and, after one year, my GPA went from a 2.9 to a 3.8.”
Benefits of Hugging
I encourage my men to hug me and to hug each other because hugging has many clinically proven benefits.
- Break down barriers
- Build a sense of safety & trust
- Heal feelings of isolation & loneliness
After hearing my program, my men come at me with open arms and hug me without hesitation – in public! And, in private, many sob on my shoulder and share their greatest fears and challenges – relieved to finally release the overwhelming burdens they have carried – many times for years.
Poor choices that college students make which cause the greatest short and long term impacts on their health, happiness, safety and success. Including:
- Alcohol (to excess)
- Tobacco Products
- Internet Use/Computer Games (to excess)
- Sexual Assault
- Sex without a Condom
I also discuss reasons why these occur – alcohol is often a recurring cause. Alcohol Abuse and Drug Use often occur as a coping mechanism by those who have unresolved issues they want to mask.